The Farmer's in the Jail

The Farmer's in the Jail
The Farmer's in the Jail
Hi Ho the Derry-o
The Farmer's in the Jail!

I bet none of you have ever heard that nursery rhyme before!  I know I hadn't until Lily sang it to me today.  Hahaha!

Today started off pretty good after a rough night last night.  When we tried to put Lily to bed last night, she was having a total meltdown and didn't want to go to sleep, didn't want to turn out the light, didn't want to shut the door, etc.  She screamed and cried and wailed and screamed some more.  We didn't know what got in to her but thought maybe she was just having a two-year-old-moment.  About 10:00 she finally settled down and went to sleep.

This morning I heard her cry out around 5am and about 1 minute later, the crying stopped and I figured she went back to sleep.

So after getting myself ready for work and feeding Tyler, I went to wake up Lily.  I opened the door and was almost knocked out by the smell.  She had vomitted all over her bed.  She was covered in it.  I felt sick to my stomach because:

1) it stunk so bad
2) she had probably been laying in it for almost 2 hours
3) when I looked around, there was no one else standing there to clean it up.....it was all me!

So right then, I knew I wasn't going to be able to go in to work and I started "recalculating" my day.  I decided to go ahead and take Tyler to daycare, then I had to run in to work because I didn't bring my laptop home the night before, and then, since Lily was up for it, I ran in to Walmart to pick up some bananas and pedialite and whatever else I could think of that she might eat that we didn't have at home.

So I do all that and then I'm on my way home and the daycare calls and I have to pick up Tyler because they think he has pink eye and he puked up his breakfast of baby food. 

Seriously??

So I go back for Tyler, and the reason they think he has pink eye is because there's lot of green gunk coming out of his eye.  And the outside of his eye is a little pink but I think it's from wiping away the green gunk. 

Sigh....so I called the doctor and made an appointment to get his eye checked out and since both kids are pukey, I figure might as well get it verified that it's a virus and we just have to wait it out.

Back at home, I attempt to work and watch sick Lily and feed and attend to Tyler....it's going pretty smoothly until I have a conference call.  And it's one I have to actively particpate in, so no muting.

During that call, Lily said she had to potty no less than 3 times...of which she only went once.  One of those times, I'm sitting on the ledge of the bathtub with my laptop taking notes and talking on the phone and Lily starting talking about needing to take her panties off.  OMG.  I'm on the phone with 4 men.  So I fight the urge to say anything to Lily about her panties and I start talking a little louder about I don't even know what to the people on the phone in hopes that they don't hear anything about panty removal!!  Hahaha!

During this time, Tyler starts crying so I come back to the living room, still typing, talking and walking at the same time and try to bounce him while my call finishes up.  After I hang up, I learn that Tyler's fussing because he's had a blowout.  Sweet!

Also, while I was on the call, Lily had gotten in to the fridge and helped herself to some milk and yogurt.  Not exactly a part of the BRAT diet.....so I cross my fingers and hope for the best.

Apparently I didn't cross the right fingers because about 45 minutes later, she vomitted that milk and yogurt all over me, herself and the floor.

Oh the bodily fluids I've had to deal with today!!  I've never been more grateful for my washing machine....

I kept trying to get Lily to take a nap and she wasn't having it....of course, 20 minutes before we have to leave for the doctor, she passes out, snoring like a banshee on the couch.  Poor, poor baby.

Doctor's diagnosis is that both kids just have viral infections (no pink eye for Tyler) and we just have to wait it out. 

So, tomorrow, it's JOEL'S turn to stay home!  Good luck, hubby of mine, good luck!

Playing Hookie...

Last night about 9:30 or so, Joel and I were watching the last few minutes of a TV show before heading to bed when all of a sudden, we heard this horrific gagging, choking sound coming from Tyler's room.  I took off running in a full freak out sprint down the hall.  I grab him out of his crib and he's choking and crying and covered in green puke (I had tried to feed him green beans earlier that evening). 

I took him in to the bathroom and he's still gagging and choking and I start to freak out. 

"Joel, he's choking!  What do I do?!  Go get me the nose sucker!"  I'm not sure what I thought I was going to do with that. 

I sat him upright and a second or two later, he stops gagging so I strip off his clothes and start to wipe up the puke off his chin.  Joel went to change his bed linens.  While Joel was out of the bathroom, Tyler starts gagging again and then hurls everywhere.  All over me and him and the bathroom floor.  I snuggled him really close and he seemed to calm down a bit.  At this point, he's completely covered in vomit so I run the bathtub and decide to give him his second bath of the night. 

I get him all cleaned up and I'm about to drain the bathtub and I see him start gagging again!  So I sit him up in the bathtub and he pukes some more.  Gaaah!  I'm in tears at this point because I feel so sorry for him and I don't know what to do to make him feel better. 

He finally seems to calm down and I get him dried and dressed and I tell Joel there's no way he's sleeping in his room by himself, so we set up the pack n play in our room (this was about to the be first time one of our kids has slept in our room with us). 

While Joel's setting up the crib, Tyler starts vomiting bile.  He would gag and I would run him to the bathroom and lean him over the sink.  I think we did that 3-4 times.  His skin would transition from a greenish hue to totally pale and colorless.  Poor poor poor baby.  In total, this went on for probably 45 minutes.  I was doing my very best not to totally freak out.  Something about little babies throwing up just about brings me to my knees and makes my heart hurt.

Finally he settles down about 11:30 and I put him in the pack n play and he goes to sleep. 

I did not.

I would jump at every little sound he made and then if he wasn't making noise I would concentrate really hard to make sure I could still hear him breathing.

So I ended up awake most of the night.  Tyler slept all night except for a brief period around 4am.  He never cried but he was kicking in the crib and whining just a little bit.  But he put himself back to sleep.

This morning he nursed fine and his coloring was back.  He never had a fever.  But since I didn't know what caused the vomiting, and in the interest of not getting all the other babies sick, I decided to stay home with him today.

Here he is taking a nap on the couch during one of my conference calls this morning.

Speaking of conference calls, during one of them, I thought I was just going to be a listener (and therefore keep my phone on mute so that no one would hear a potentially crying baby) but after a few minutes in, I realized that they wanted me to present!  No problem, Tyler's happy.  Not fussy.  I'm good to go. 

Oh wait, it's time for Tyler to eat.....and he's ready NOW....Not really willing to wait until after I'm done presenting.  So, I do what any mom "working from home" would do!  I managed to get Tyler hooked up to the boob and (I think) never missed a beat in my presentation!  Whew!

A little later, he was laying on the couch next to me while I was on another conference call and he was just talking away.  I think he was trying to get his two cents in.  He was probably saying "You guys are a bunch of idiots.  I have all the answers, if only you could speak my language."

And here he is jumping...

And playing with Daddy...

So I think he's fine!

And Lily's pretty good too....

Mama / Daughter Outing

Remember when I took Lily for her 2 year checkup, and she asked "Where should we go Mommy?"  I said that it felt like it was time for a Mama / Daughter outing and finally today we did that!

I told Lily we were going to go out to the store "Just me and you!"  She was so excited.  She kept repeating "Just me n you.  Not Daddy."  So cute.

First we went to McDonald's for lunch. 

She ate a handful of french fries, most of her apples and all of the chocolate milk.  She wouldn't touch her chicken nuggets with a ten foot pole.  We were at McDonald's for probably at least 45 minutes.  She went potty 3 times.  I thought we were never going to get to eat all our food.  Seemed like every 5 minutes, she said "Got to potty Mama!" and she'd take off for the bathroom.  She went every time - no false alarms. 

After we finally got done at McDonald's we headed to Joann's to buy some yarn to make a hat for Joel.  She was stopping to smell the flowers.

Everywhere we went, she was getting compliments on her pretty pink boots.  She even said "Thank you" once.  So cute.

Then we went off to Target.  She had to potty again here. 

We didn't buy anything at Target.  She saw a Dora bathing suit and we tried it on but it didn't fit (it was a 3T and it didn't fit!!!).  I was preparing myself for a total meltdown over not getting the bathing suit but she just said "It's didn't fit, Mama.  We'll try again." What the??

Then we went off to Kohl's and I'm kicking myself because I totally forgot to take a picture there.  By this time, we are approaching nap time so she's getting a little testy.  I let her push a cart around and she was in heaven.  She got to pick out a few outfits and took great pleasure in plunking them down in the cart. 

All in all, it was a nice girls day out!

We came home and shortly after, Lily went down for her nap.  At about 5:00, she was still sleeping (she went down around 2:45) so I went to wake her up.  This is what she looked like:

She was completely drenched in sweat.  Sleeping in her cowboy boots and mittens!  Check out her shirt sleeve....totally soaked!  She had two fleece blankets on her and her comforter - I think that was a bit much. 

whoo whooo whoo Gangnum Style!

A month or more ago, Joel was playing Lily the Psy video of Gangnum Style on his phone and she was giggling and dancing and singing and having a good old time.  Well since then, we haven't played it or sung it but the other night, Joel just absentmindedly sang "whoo whooo" and stopped there.  Lily picks up from there, competely on her own, "whooo whooo whooo Gangnum Style!"

HILARIOUS!

For those of you who might not know what Gangum Style is (Mom I'm talking to you), here's a link.  Just over 1 minute in, you get to the part that Lily was singing...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0


In the last 24 hours, Lily has started saying "Leave me alone!" if she doesn't like what we're asking her to do (like go potty or back up from the TV or pick up her toys). This is totally one of those phrases that, when she says it, I want to bust out laughing and put her in time out at the same time!  Man it's hard being a parent!  Ha!  As I think about it, I wonder if she got this move from her Uncle Jason's playbook!!

Dora Adventure!

I finally got some of the pictures from Lily's birthday from Jenny so I'm able to blog about the details of Lily's birthday party!

As I mentioned, for Lily's 2nd birthday, we had a Dora themed party and I think it went really well if I do say so myself!

There was a ridiculous amount of preparation that went in to a party for a 2 year old that likely won't remember a thing about it.  But it's what we parents do!  And that's why it's so important to take pictures and keep up with the blog!  Someday we can show them how much we loved them when they were 2 and all that we did for them!  Ha!

We had all the aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents and Lily's first and second babysitter families here to celebrate with us. 

For our Dora themed party, we had Mexican food!  Tacos, taquitos, chips and salsa, Mexican rice, corn, Explorer Stars (aka Jello Jigglers cut out like stars), Dora yogurt, Dora fruit snacks.....hmm, I think that's about it.  Oh we also had apple juice boxes made to look like backpacks, complete with map on the side!  I made these myself - the cricut is both my best friend and worst enemy when it comes to these sort of things!

After we ate, we had a Dora adventure!  I made backpacks for all the kids out of purple paper bags- again with the Cricut.

We started off in Joel and I's bedroom.  I asked the kids, Who wants to go on a Dora adventure to the Big Birthday Pinata?!  Of course, no one answered me.  That must be how Dora feels when she asks a question and then has the silent creepy stare out of the television. 

Anyway, then I said, Does anyone know where the Big Birthday Pinata is?  (silence) Who do we ask for help, when we don't know which way to go?  (more silence)

So I just told them, It's MAP!  Then Joel had the TV cued up to the map song on a Dora episode and I hit play and then busted out the AWESOME map that Joel drew out by hand.

Now when all the party planning was going down, I asked Joel if he could help draw the map because my drawing skills suck.  I thought it would take like an hour or so to scribble something on a piece of poster board.  No.  Joel spent HOURS on it.  Like probably 6 hours.  But he did a great a job and everyone was super impresssed.

So anyway, I said, First we have to go over the Troll Bridge, then through the Jungle and then we get to the Big Birthday Pinata.  I tried to get them to repeat after me "Bridge.  Jungle.  Big Birthday Pinata."  (crickets)

Anyway, Joel also made a bridge and a Grumpy Old Troll!  He's so talented!  You can see a tiny bit of the bridge in this picture.

And here's the Grumpy old Troll that Joel made.

So then I sang the Grumpy Old Troll Song: 
I'm a Grumpy Old Troll
Who lives under the bridge
If you want to come over
All you have to do is this!
All you have to do is this!
Answer my riddle!

It's pretty amazing how stupid I would have once felt singing that, but I didn't even consider how idiotic I might be looking because Lily was eating. it. up.

So I said some nonsense riddle and tried to get the kids to say what the answer was: Balloon.  Then each of the kids took a balloon and had to pop it to see how many Golden Tickets they could get.

After popping the balloons, we had to go through the Jungle.  When we got to the jungle, we saw Dora and Boots.  Oh no!  Swiper stole Dora's bracelet.  We have to help her get it back!

Or in other words, pin the bracelet on the Dora.  Lily went first and she was not too in to having the blindfold on.  But after watching all the other kids do it, she wanted to try again with the blindfold on. 

After making it through the jungle, we were on our way to the Big Birthday Pinata!

After the Dora Adventure, Lily opened her presents.  Lots and lots of Dora things.  She was in heaven!

At one point, Lily started returning the cards to the people who gave them to her.  Grams gave her some money and Lucio told her it was his.  So she gave it to him!  So cute.

Lily LOVES this one.  It's her "phone."  Really it's supposed to be like an iPod and plays Dora related music.  But to Lily, it's her phone.

And then it was time for cake!

Of course we had a Dora cake.  I had meltdown the night before Lily's party...

Joel had picked up the cake the afternoon before the party.  About 8:00 that night, he says "oh by the way, they spelled Lily's name wrong." 

Me: "What?" 

Joel:  "Yeah, they spelled her name wrong."

Me:  "Seriously?"  I thought he was messing with me.  He does this frequently.  We were working so hard getting ready for the party that I thought he was just trying to be funny.

Joel:  "Yes."

Me:  "They really did?  They really screwed up 'Lily?'  L-I-L-Y?" 
Joel:  "I said YES.  It's wrong."

So then I looked at the cake.  It was spelled "Liley" - who the hell spells "Lily" with an "e" in it??

Me:  "WHY ARE YOU JUST TELLING ME THIS NOW?!?!?!  AT 8:00 AT NIGHT WHEN THE BAKERY IS CLOSED?!?!!?  WHY DIDN'T YOU MAKE THEM FIX IT WHEN YOU PICKED IT UP?!?!?!?!!?  YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FREAKING KIDDING ME!!!!"  And then I burst into tears.

After I calmed down, I called Kroger and they told me to bring the cake in in the morning and they would figure out how to fix it.  So Joel took it in and they did fix it.  It's tough to see, but if you look close in the picture at Lily's name, there is a green dot between the "l" and the "y" - that's how they eliminated the "e."

2013 is off to a great year in terms of my nomination for "Mom of the Year." The below picture is me trying to get Lily to lean over the cake so she can blow out her candles.  Look closely and you can see that her hair is on fire!  Yep.  I managed to catch my daughter's hair on fire.  Good one, Mama!!!

And after all the excitement of me batting Lily's head to keep all her hair from catching fire, I just blew the candles out myself.

And now for the important part.....eating the cake and ice cream!  Who need utensils??

All in all, I think the birthday party was a success!