FXB Week 3

Three weeks down, y'all.  Let me tell ya, you do NOT want come across this gal in a dark alley. 

Ok, that might be exaggerating just a little but the point is, I feel stronger than I ever have in my whole life and it's only been 3 weeks (+3 weeks of T25).  I can't wait to see what 10 weeks will feel like!  

So how's it going?  GOOD.  

The kickboxing is far and away my favorite thing.  I love M-W-F kickboxing days.  There's just something about punching and kicking that bag while letting out a grunt or a yell that is so completely cathartic.  And sweaty.

T-Th-S band days...eh.  Not my favorite.  However, that doesn't mean I'm not working hard in spite of not loving it.  In fact, I think I'm working even harder because I don't love it.  Like I have to teach that band who's boss or something.  I busted out the blue band for squats this week (that's the 4th level for those not in the "band know") and didn't even bring the yellow band (easiest one) to my spot on the mat this week on leg day.  That's progress!

Nutrition?  I'm coming in to it.  Still struggling on not sneaking a bite of chocolate here and there but for the most part I am being very good and staying away.  Joel had a big bowl of ice cream with a warm brownie in it the other night (all leftovers from Lily's birthday - you can believe I won't be replacing it once it's gone).  I thought I have might have a meltdown - full on crying tantrum.  But I remained strong and went and got some toast with cinnamon and some milk which kinda, almost felt like a dessert treat... Kinda.  Almost.  Sigh.  When is my Fun Day this week?  Oh yes, tomorrow.

I'm getting better at planning and prepping in advance.  I try to make up a bunch of fruit bowls all at once with my exact carb target so I can just grab and go.  In order to try to get back to the fruit I love so much, I've adjusted my meals so that as many of my carbs as possible come from fruit each day.  I keep a cheat sheet on the fridge for how many carbs are in 1/4c of each fruit.

I also fill up some baggies with veggies for a snack or a meal addition when I'm still hungry and I eat it with some Laughing Cow Light cheese (which I'm sure is considered way processed and not "clean" but I need a little something for flavor and that's low points/low carbs/low protein - a happy thing for both of my nutrition philosophies).  Tyler-man helped me out today putting my baggies together.

I hope to spend some time this weekend going through my WW recipes and finding the ones that are the most compatible with the clean eating, balanced protein/carb philosophy. One more tool in my arsenal for variety.

So what's not going well?  I'm tired.  I'm so tired.  4:15am wake up is rough.  I broke down and got a coffee one day this week.

I'm fine for most of the day, but by 5:00pm I'm tired, I'm cranky, my patience is low.  When you have two kids ages 4 and 2, running low on patience at the 5:00pm hour is no good.  By the time we put them bed at 7:30-8:00, I'm done.  And this past week has been a nightmare on bedtime with the kids - each of them taking their turn for a 45-60 minute scream fest (I supposed I should be grateful that they took turns).  So once we get through that, my nerves are so shot, I can't even watch TV much less do anything else.  Must sleep.  And to top that off, one or both of them wake up in the middle of night - waking both Joel and I and half the time neither of us go back to sleep.  So 4:15am wake up just became 2:30am wake up.  Yeeeeeeaaah. 

This is no good for my marriage, let me tell you.  Joel and I have no time together where one or both of us are not exhausted and/or frazzled which leads to snapping and bickering.  So that's why, at week 3, I'm already stressing about how I can keep doing this after week 10.  I love it.  I don't want to give it up, but I have to figure out something else cause this just won't work.  Maybe some miracle will occur in the next 7 weeks and the kids will mellow out and sleep better so that we can sleep better.  Yeah, let's hang on to that right now. 

I would apologize for my little b*tch fest there, but I'm too tired to be bothered.  :D

Week 3 Wacky Sock Wednesday (I got to thinking, since I wear St Patrick's day socks pretty much everyday of my life, would that be really be considered "wacky" when I wear them to FXB??  hmm, will have to ponder on this...)

Farrell's Week 2 (A Little Late)

I'm a little behind in posting my Week 2 update.  Hosting your baby's 4th birthday party will do that to you.  

Anyway, so - Week 2 is done!  That's 20% of the program complete.  I've been trying to decide if these last two weeks flew by or if I've felt every minute of them.  I supposed I'm somewhere in between.  Before I get in to the details of Week 2, cause this post is bound to be a novel, I'll cut to the chase:  I'm still in to it.  

The exercise is awesome.  I really am feeling strong - especially in my upper body.  Sometimes I see my arms in the mirror and I have a "holy sh*t" moment because I can't believe I have muscles like that in my arms.  Two days ago, I kid you not, I noticed some ab definition.  I almost fell down in the bathroom.

This morning, when we had to do a quick set of push ups I managed 17 push ups (I think the instructor, Erik, counted up to 30 but I am just not that fast...yet).  Now, that in itself is not impressive.  What is impressive, however, is that on orientation day, we had to do push ups and I did 17 in 60 seconds.  I'd be willing to bet that this mornings quick set was done in 30-40 seconds.  I was definitely grinning at myself as I struggled to get that 17th one complete and back up to my feet for the next instruction. 

The kickboxing is so much fun.  My form is starting to get better, but I still have a long way to go on that.  I know some of my punches and kicks get sloppy because I'm tired and I'm just trying to get through it.  It's not easy but I really am focusing on getting better and making every movement count.  Except burn out this morning - I admit I didn't focus on form.  Erik told us to give it all we had - punches, kicks, whatever - I went at that bag like a mad woman or perhaps a rabid dog.  I'm positive it was ugly - but I'm equally as sure that I left everything on that mat this morning.  Yelling and grunting included.

Waking up at 4:15 is rough.  Once I get going in the morning, I'm fine.  But by the evening, I have no energy left and if I make it past 8:30pm I'm doing good.  This is fine (sort of) for now, but I can't see doing this forever.  I feel like I have no time with Joel like this.  Exercise, work, kids, dinner, pass out.  So either I get tougher and don't need to pass out at 8:30 or I have to figure out another time to exercise after the 10 week challenge is over.

And now for the part that is so much more difficult than hard physical workouts though I suppose it's a mental workout.  Nutrition.

My brain is trained on Weight Watchers.  I know points - not protein and carb counts.  It's been a HUGE, HUGE adjustment so far.  

1. I ate a lot of fruit on WW because it's "free" (0 points).  That's how I stayed full (and regular!).  With FXB, fruit = carbs so I'm limited and it's killing me.  Even if 80% of my daily carbs is fruit, that's still a significant overall reduction in fruit for me.
2. I am a point hoarder.  I typically always save points at the end of each day for a treat.  With FXB, there are no daily treats (at least not the kind I'm craving).  I really think part of why WW was so perfect for me was the flexibility and the fact that I could have a cookie or a chocolate every night.  This lack of even just one nibble of the leftover brownies from Lily's party is torture.
3. Which leads me to fun day - it's great.  HOWEVER.  I have no self control.  I've just denied myself all week long and fun day gets here and I eat whatever I want like a crazy person.  Well binging, fast food, junk, huge portions, etc is how I got so heavy in the first place.  So it feels very uncomfortable to me to be doing this.  So, "stop," you say.  Well, I can't seem to help myself.  Must work on this.
4. On WW, if I had a lunch with the girls one day and a party another day, I could just manage my points accordingly on those days.  With FXB, there is only 1 fun day per week so the flexibility throughout the week is dramatically reduced.  Now, I know that it's not supposed to be so hard and that I'm just supposed to make good choices at the lunch with the girls, but I find that I was better able to make good choices within WW guidelines & flexibility than I am the protein/carb counting guidelines.
5. If it's not already obvious, I am stressing myself out trying to do both WW and FXB programs at the same time.  I'm getting better at it, but it's still tough.  When you've reprogrammed yourself for 18 months to do things one way, it's very, very hard to change (though not unlike reprogramming myself to avoid sausage biscuits when I started WW).  Why don't I just drop WW altogether for now?  Well I tried and I can't.  When you have so much success with a program, it's just so scary to walk away from it and I just can't.  Plus I am using my WW app to get the nutritional info so I might as well just track there too.
6. Now, it's not all bad.  I have dramatically increased my water intake which has been great for my skin!  I now drink a minimum of 120 oz of water a day (compared to MAYBE 20-30 oz before).  If I drink 80-100 oz before noon, I allow myself to get a polar pop of Diet Coke (now 50% caffeine free).  I sip on that in the afternoon and then make myself drink another 40-60 oz of water after work.  So, yes, I pee at least 12 times a day.  But it's worth it for my Diet Coke!!  And my glowing skin.

People keep asking me if I'll go back to WW after the challenge is over and I probably will but with some definite modifications I've learned on FXB.  More water and more protein - for sure.  And maybe not a treat every day but probably more than just once a week.  This will help me stay away from the free for all style fun days (which I plan to correct while still ON FXB).  I still have 8 weeks to make up my mind about what will work for me long term.

The last bit I'm struggling with is the scale.  They tell you not to weigh yourself and I think that's smart.  However, in order to maintain my WW lifetime status, I have to weight myself once a week.  So far, I've gained weight.  I'm eating the same or less total points daily (of healthier things), drinking water like a fiend and exercising 6-7 days a week and I'm gaining.  This is hard to deal with.  I know it's from muscles gaining strength and I'm sure I have extra water weight among other unmentionable extras not letting go from my body - but it's still really hard to see the scale move up when I'm working so hard.

But - I don't weigh myself every day like I did on WW.  I put the scale in the closet except WW weigh in day.  That's a pretty huge shift for me.  I am trusting in the process.  If I follow the process to the very best of my ability, I will come out better for it in the long run.  Even if the scale moves up a few pounds.

Trust the process - that's my motto for week 3!

Week 2 Wacky Sock Wednesday!

A Whole Week of 4th Birthday Celebrations.

When you turn 4, it seriously takes a week to celebrate it fully and correctly.  In case you didn't know.  The festivities started out on Monday with a little party at the daycare.  We enjoyed cupcakes and treat bags with Lily's class.  Well mostly just Lily and Tyler ate their cupcakes and the other kids just picked at them.  Not sure what's up with that but maybe next time I'll do cookies or store bought cupcakes cause it's just not worth it if the kids won't even eat it.  

To celebrate the actual birthday of my big little girl, I met up with Joel, Lily and Tyler at the family favorite pizza joint after work (where I ate salad and they ate pizza since it was not my fun day...boo).

Then we headed on home to open presents.  In the weeks leading up to Lily's birthday, as we had shopped for gifts for her school friends, I had been asked Lily what she wanted for her birthday.  She consistently gravitated toward this Merida (from the movie Brave) bow and arrow.  And then a few days before her birthday, she said if she was going to get that "Merida thang" she needed the Merida dress to go with it.  So I frantically got on Amazon and ordered it.  Thank you Amazon Prime and two-day shipping.  It arrived on her birthday and Joel had to wrap it up real quick before we got home from pizza.  Lily also got a hair dryer - she wanted a hair dryer that was just her size.  And a jump rope.

She was pretty excited about her Merida stuff.  She immediately wanted to put on the dress and begin shooting her arrows.  She was a tad bit clumsy with the bow and arrows at first, but the by the next morning she was flinging arrows all around the house like she's was a born hunter.

After presents, it was time to devour cupcakes (in which I did participate - cause fun day or not, you have a cupcake with your daughter on her birthday).  That sassy looking picture - yeah, that's her "Whitney pose" as she calls it.

And then it seemed like it was taking forever for the rest of the week to get over so it could be her birthday party day where she could get more presents.  But it finally arrived and we had a great time (and it was my fun day and as I sit here typing this, I think I might puke from over-doing the fun...whoopsie).

We had lunch, presents, cake, games, treat bags....we had playing together and bickering.  We had laughing and whining and giggling and crying.  You know, all the typical ingredients for a fantastic birthday party.  Which can be seen in full in the below photo array!

Happy, happy birthday to my Queen Liliana.  These four years have been full of wonderful, unforgettable moments.  I am so lucky to be this girl's mama.