I did it!!

I have officially breastfed TWO babies for a WHOLE YEAR EACH!  I did it!!!!

Of all the things I've accomplished in my life, I think this surely ranks in the top 3 things I am most proud of.  It might even be number one because as I think about the other big things I've accomplished:

• graduate high school with damn near straight As (one stinkin' B)
• graduate college - engineering school - in the top 5% of my class
• get my MBA, at night, while working full time
• financial stability: pay off my college loans, first car, etc
• getting rated a "1" at my job

 .... they just doesn't touch this accomplishment. 

The emotions running through me right now are all over the place:

• pride - there were times this was hard, and times I was exhausted, and times I just didn't feel like dealing with milk, but I did it anyway and I'm proud of my persistence
• relief - I don't have to deal with pumping anymore! "Milk Management" now just means buying a gallon from the grocery store!
• sadness - my baby boy is growing up and he's probably my last baby and that makes me incredibly, heart-wrenchingly sad
• joy - who isn't joyful after a big accomplishment?
• liberation - I'm free from the pump! I'm free from having to be in a certain place at a certain time! I'm free to have an adult beverage without having to plan in advance! I'm free! Free!! Free!!! (If there's a "Moms Gone Wild," this world better watch out cause 1/3 of a beer and I'll be movin' fast and loose!)
• satisfaction - I gave both of my babies the absolute best start in life they can get - not just with my unending motherly love and patience (ha!), but with nourishment from my body
• grief - part of me will grieve over the loss of the guaranteed 1:1 time I had with Tyler several times a day (which is why I haven't completely given up nursing all together.... I'm still nursing him in the mornings before work.....hopefully I can give that up before he starts school!  haha!)
• honor - I feel completely honored by the opportunity to have developed this bond with my babies, to serve them in this incredibly personal way
• grateful - to my husband for being so supportive, for being there for me and the babies and the bottles/pump washings when I just couldn't deal with it that day - none of this, not one minute, would have been possible without him

And now I'm a crying, sobbing mess. Thank you very much!