Do you wanna go higher?

You would never know from these pictures that only moments before and moments after they were taken, these kiddos were bickering like an old married couple. 

 

But for the few minutes they were swinging, it was peaceful in the Basham household - er, backyard. 

 

Lily kept asking Tyler, "Do you wanna go higher?  Do you, Tyler?  Do you want me to push you higher?  Ok!  I will!"

 

Tyler grinned and giggled - it was pretty cute.  

 



Backyard Campfire.

Joel has been wanting to have a fire in the backyard for about 6 weeks or so.  We finally make it happen this weekend!  It turns out that a campfire, a 3 year old and a 20 month old are the precise ingredients for a nervous breakdown. 

 

 

It was so stressful, trying to roast hot dogs while keeping the kiddos out of the way of the fire.  And to keep them from fighting over the 3 foot long weenie roasting skewers or poking someone's eye out with them. 

 

We did enjoy our hot dogs.  Well, most of us did.  Tyler wasn't in to it.  He opted to eat chips for dinner.  The Mom in me was trying not to twitch over the lack of nutrition in his dinner - but then I relaxed because who cares?  It's one meal, he'll be alright. 

 

It was incredible how much messier the kids got just because we weren't eating at our normal supper table.  I think we went through half a box of wipes. 

 

After dinner, we roasted some marshmallows and had s'mores!!  Lily wasn't having it.  No marshmallows.  Just graham crackers by themselves and chocolate by itself.  But absolutely NOT together. 

 

Tyler on the other hand....well the pictures really tell the best tale.  Tyler is shirtless because he'd already used his shirt as a napkin to clean his hands off of chip dust. 

 

 

Lily, the family photographer, had to take a couple pictures too.  Here's the only one that's actually of something.

 

 

The kids have taken to chasing each other around the yard barn.  Tyler discovered this adventure and Lily followed suit.  Now it's a big game.

 

 

After we put the kids to bed, Joel and I sat outside and enjoyed the fire (and more s'mores!) for several more hours.  It so was peaceful (until Lily had a nightmare and needed soothing for like 30 minutes before going back to bed).  I almost forgot we were in our backyard and not camping somewhere.

 

 

Over it.

I try not to use my public blog to whine too much.  But I'm having a tough week, and this blog, this journal, is my friend.  And who do you turn to when you're having a rough time?  Your friends.  So, not sure where this post is going to go and I swear I'm not in search of a pity party.....(well, ok, maybe I am).....but I need an outlet and I choose this.

I do have a few real live, flesh and blood friends too and I'm so grateful for them.  In making lunch plans with one of them this week, we were discussing where to go that was on my diet radar.  This is what I said to her:

"I'm feeling really weak.  As in, if I walk past a bag of Doritos, I might just tear it open like a savage and stuff myself until my fingers, lips and shirt collar are completely orange.  Then, I'll follow it up with an M&Ms chaser."  

Yep, that about sums up how I feel right now.  I'm over this diet.

And there's more to my choice of Doritos and M&Ms.  Once upon a time, a blue million years ago it seems, my family went on a vacation to Florida.  I have no idea how old I was.  My memory sucks.  I'm sure one of my sisters could say exactly, but let's just say it was in the ballpark of middle school.  I think we rented this two story townhouse thing?  I remember getting there, going in to the room we were going to sleep and seeing a lizard (a little one, maybe 4 inches long, but that was HUGE to a girl from Indiana) in the windowsill.  We. FREAKED. OUT.  My Dad grabbed a shoe (I think it was mine!! - sisters correct me...) and smashed that lizard.  Swoon....our hero!  That part of the story has nothing to do with Doritos and M&Ms, but it was on that vacation that my sisters and I discovered that eating Doritos and M&Ms simultaneously is absolutely delicious.  Try it.  Dare ya.

My brain is just swimming with memories like the above of my Daddy right now.  He's been gone 8 years this week and I just have to say that I'm over it.  I'm over him being gone.  I'm over him not knowing my kids.  Not knowing my husband.  Not being there with my Mom.  Over it.  Over it.  Over it.  I'm over the guilt of my not being there with my Mom in the absence of my Dad.  She doesn't make me feel that way.  I just do.

The older I get, and the more my life evolves, the more angry I am that my Dad is not here to see it.  The more I feel that my family has suffered a great injustice.  And I'm over it.  I don't really want to hear right now about how he's watching and he is here with me and blah blah blah.  It's not the same.

And, anyway, that kind of thinking interferes with my pity party.  

*****

I wrote this post two days ago and in my infinite wisdom I chose to sleep on it before I posted it.  I just deleted 4 more paragraphs of things that I am "over."  You're welcome.  : )

*****

There are plenty of things in my life that I am so grateful for and I do try to specifically focus on them when my brain and my heart get dark like this.

I'm grateful for my stubborn resolve.  I did not cave and eat Doritos and M&Ms.  In case you're interested, my friend and I went to Panera and I had a bowl of Garden Vegetable Soup.  <patting myself on the back>

And I'm grateful for these pictures.

High School Graduation

Kindergarten Birthday Party

Swimming.  Duh.

Guessing this is about 1986?

I'm maybe 4 months old?

St Patrick's Day 1993 - oh yes, we all have green hair.

First Communion

Always with the video camera

Chicken Pox 1985 - Mom still has that quilt and that ice pack

Maybe didn't get to do this at my wedding,

but did get to do it in my lifetime

Easter 1984

Easter 1985

More First Communion

Easter Weekend Happenings.

Happy Easter!  What a beautiful 3-day weekend we enjoyed!!  Lots of walking, a bike ride, a Bronco ride (sort of), reading outside, grill purchasing and subsequent grilling, backyard renovation and garden planning discussions, grocerying, lots of cooking, Crocs shopping, Easter baskets, Easter mail from Meme and Papaw, a couple minor home repairs, Frozen hair, Frozen movie watching.  That's about it.  Some pictures to commemorate it!

 

Lily loves to pull Tyler in the wagon.  Tyler enjoys its for a while then then wants to take a turn pulling.  And Lily doesn't like to share the reigns.

Kiddos handing out in the back of the Bronco.

Kickin' it the backyard.  Sunglasses.  Hat. Cars Crocs.  Stylin'.

 

Lily is obsessed with having Frozen hair.  First she wanted "Elsa" hair.  "Mommy, is has to come over to the side.  Over my shoulder.  Like this." And then after bath, it was "Anna" hair.  "Mommy, that means two braids.  And they have to come over my shoulders."  Never been so glad I've left her hair long.  If that braid didn't go over her shoulder, I'd probably be fashioning in a yarn weave....Also, I'm getting better at braiding hair!

 

 Tyler was helping out with cleaning the new grill. 

Easter baskets! (Oh.  My.  Gawd.  Cutest.  Babies.  Ever.)

 

 

Putting their loot in their piggy banks.  Lily didn't want to put all her money in hers.  She was going to just keep it in a baggy.  But then about 10 minutes later, after she'd moved on to something else, her brother got a hold of her loot bag and was about to start putting it in his piggy.  I told Lily if she didn't want her brother get her money, she better put it in her piggy.  Done and done.

 

Lily received a Frozen magnet set from the Easter Bunny.  Her Daddy was playing it with her.  He's a good Daddy.  She was having fun despite the look on her face.  She was just annoyed that I was taking pictures.