I know that we're supposed to cherish these years with our kids. I hear, all the time, parents who's kids are 10+ years old say, "My favorite years with my kids was when they were 3 to 5 years old."
When I hear them say that, I almost fall apart.
From weariness. From frustration. From helplessness. From exasperation. From feeling out of control. From guilt for feeling all those other things I feel!
From FREAKING OUT that these are the BEST years!? Are you kidding me??? It gets worse???
Joel and I were discussing the other night that we are pretty sure we only get about 2 nights a week that are drama free.
1) Lily is in pre-K now and they don't take naps. Well Lily's not really ready to give up nap. She needs about 45 minutes of rest per day and now that she's not getting it, our evenings can be miserable. It's like we've fast-fowarded 10 years and I have a hormonal teenage girl in my house who either cries at EVERYTHING or is so moody with an attitude you want to smack her in to next week.
2) Tyler never really had terrible two's to speak of - at least not like Lily did. Nah, he decided to save up until he was 3. That kid can get set off by the wind blowing the wrong way and suddenly he's the Incredible Hulk complete with fists of rage and bulging eyeballs. He has no problem screaming for an hour. His favorite, go-to move, though, is spitting when he is displeased with something you said or did to him.
One night last week we hit the double bonus and both kids turned on their crazy at the same time. Joel and I take turns with each kid reading the bedtime story. Problem is, if Lily has her choice, she'd rather I read to her. Most of the time, she's ok with Joel but sometimes she doesn't want him at all. Tyler on the other hand NEVER wants me. So it's guaranteed that 3 to 4 nights per week will suck because Tyler will fight with me about reading him a story. Sometimes, he concedes after a few minutes but other times he holds out for an hour.
Which is what happened in this latest episode. They each were being stubborn about who they wanted to read to them and Joel and I were NOT giving in. Tyler ended up getting locked in his room and wound up screaming and crying for an hour until he finally just wore himself out, conking out mid-holler. Literally. Lily pulled her bi-polar routine for about 75 minutes. "I want a hug and kiss." (Shrug away and grunt when you try.) "I SAID GIVE ME A HUG AND KISS!!" (Another shrug away when you try again.)
Somehow, neither Joel nor I completely lost our sh*t - but let me tell you, it's nights like those that give me insight to those news stories you see where parents have caused serious injury to their kid by shaking them.
3) We are sick of being short order cooks. Done. Joel decided about month ago, that after Tyler's birthday, we were going to stop fixing them something different than what we eat. So we are working our way in to this process. We have stopped offering the kids pepperonis or PB&J crackers for supper. We are putting at least one teensy bite of whatever we are having on their plate and then we round out their meal with other things we know they like (peas, green beans, fruit, yogurt, etc). We are trying to put those things on our plates too so that it doesn't look like something "special" for them. They can't get a treat unless they at least TRY everything on their plate. They get two treats if they eat all the important things (think: veggies & protein). The treats are not a big thing...just two little pieces of chocolate or something similar.
Tyler's been playing along relatively well. He has at least tasted nearly every single thing we put in front of him. He wants his chocolate. That's my kid, alright.
Lily on the other hand. Stubborn, stubborn, stubborn. "I don't like that." "I'm NOT eating that." "I WILL spit it out." When we tell her she's not getting a treat she says, "I AM getting a treat if I want one and I'm NOT eating that fill in the blank."
But we stick to our guns and don't give her one. Cue meltdown. For an hour. And then it's bed time. GOD FORBID it be Joel's night to read that child a story!
(I typed this up about a week ago and never hit publish. Tonight at dinner, Lily tried her food and Tyler threw the fit. Sigh. At least the good news is we ARE making progress. One fit at a time I suppose.)
Other random events of the past couple weeks...
Tyler put on his shades one morning on the way to school. I tried to take his picture and he put his hand up and exclaimed, "Blocked ya!"
S'mores and camping, part two. The s'mores went over well - the camping, not so much. Tyler threw a fit and didn't want to settle down. Finally did settle down only to wake up about 90 minutes later screaming his head off. Joel brought him inside (I was sleeping inside this time and he had outside duty). An hour or so later, Lily woke up fussing. Meanwhile, Joel didn't get back to sleep in between kid awakening episodes. When they emerged the next morning, Joel came in all stuffed up and sick. So, camping was a hit!
We went to a car show downtown last weekend. We got there and this conversation happened:
Lily: "What are we going to do here?"
Joel: "Walk around and look at cars."
Lily: "Look at cars? That's it? That's BORING!"
I snorted. I hear ya sister. So instead we went to the commons playground while the Joel walked around and looked at boring cars.
Tyler kept jumping off this ledge. About 3 feet up. He's such a boy!
Lily riding her bike. I don't know why, but we haven't ridden bikes much at all this summer. In spite of that, she has improved a great deal on controlling her speed and getting her momentum going again if she stops on a slight incline.
I had to travel to Minnesota for a day this week and I got this pic of my cute family enjoying ice cream cones in my absence (Daddy says they ate all their food including trying the new things...hmmm).
While I was gone, the kids finger painted the windows that are at the very top of our front door. It's always bothered Joel cause "people can see right in" our living. I'm like, what people? Are there a bunch of 6.5' tall people wandering our our neighborhood looking in high windows? Cause you have to be that tall to see in them. Anyway, cool idea that Joel had. Looks cool.
My boy, who rarely lets me hold him, was hanging on for a piggy back ride this week and posed all super cute. I can forgive him a lot of transgressions during those moments.
The kids are so curious about what Joel's work and my work looks like on the inside. They've both been in my building before (though it's been a long time) but they had never seen inside "Daddy's work." Joel picked them up from daycare one day this week and ran them inside for a look around. They were STOKED to get their very own safety glasses and ear plugs. Mommy's work is SO NOT that cool.
(I typed this up about a week ago and never hit publish. Tonight at dinner, Lily tried her food and Tyler threw the fit. Sigh. At least the good news is we ARE making progress. One fit at a time I suppose.)
Other random events of the past couple weeks...
Tyler put on his shades one morning on the way to school. I tried to take his picture and he put his hand up and exclaimed, "Blocked ya!"
S'mores and camping, part two. The s'mores went over well - the camping, not so much. Tyler threw a fit and didn't want to settle down. Finally did settle down only to wake up about 90 minutes later screaming his head off. Joel brought him inside (I was sleeping inside this time and he had outside duty). An hour or so later, Lily woke up fussing. Meanwhile, Joel didn't get back to sleep in between kid awakening episodes. When they emerged the next morning, Joel came in all stuffed up and sick. So, camping was a hit!
This kid falls asleep at least one per weekend in the car. I wish I could fall asleep so easily!
We went to a car show downtown last weekend. We got there and this conversation happened:
Lily: "What are we going to do here?"
Joel: "Walk around and look at cars."
Lily: "Look at cars? That's it? That's BORING!"
I snorted. I hear ya sister. So instead we went to the commons playground while the Joel walked around and looked at boring cars.
Tyler kept jumping off this ledge. About 3 feet up. He's such a boy!
While at this boring downtown car show and detour to the playground, we stumbled on an Indian music and dancing program going on. The kids wanted to check it out and Lily was SUCKED IN watching the dancing, listening to the music and clapping along. It was pretty cool.
Lily riding her bike. I don't know why, but we haven't ridden bikes much at all this summer. In spite of that, she has improved a great deal on controlling her speed and getting her momentum going again if she stops on a slight incline.
I had to travel to Minnesota for a day this week and I got this pic of my cute family enjoying ice cream cones in my absence (Daddy says they ate all their food including trying the new things...hmmm).
While I was gone, the kids finger painted the windows that are at the very top of our front door. It's always bothered Joel cause "people can see right in" our living. I'm like, what people? Are there a bunch of 6.5' tall people wandering our our neighborhood looking in high windows? Cause you have to be that tall to see in them. Anyway, cool idea that Joel had. Looks cool.
My boy, who rarely lets me hold him, was hanging on for a piggy back ride this week and posed all super cute. I can forgive him a lot of transgressions during those moments.
The kids are so curious about what Joel's work and my work looks like on the inside. They've both been in my building before (though it's been a long time) but they had never seen inside "Daddy's work." Joel picked them up from daycare one day this week and ran them inside for a look around. They were STOKED to get their very own safety glasses and ear plugs. Mommy's work is SO NOT that cool.
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